I've never been a big fan

I have never been a big fan of Valentines day... or as my friend called it forever and still does Valumptimes day.  I have had years where I had fantaublous valumptimes and years that were yucky!  I have had years that I had dates and years that I didn't.  I have had years that I got flowers and candy and such from the person that "loved" me and years that I got that stuff from the kids in my classes and years that I go nothing- zero, zip, nada!  I think because my love language is Valumptimes Day.  I think becuase my cup is filled when the ones I love do little things that are sweet, loving and thoughtful on a regular basis instead of just once a year.  The relationships that meant the most to me were the ones that were filled with the little things.   I have thought alot of those past relationships this week as I have listened to a lot of Whitney Houston's music (due to her passing) and she was quite popular during my single years -LOL! I loved little notes on my car windshield, in my locker, cards, a single flower as a surpirse, a dare I say "mixed tape" (LOL), a held hand during a prayer, a door opened, a car door opened when getting out... things that show that I am charished and thought of.  While my heart was broken many times over before I was led to Jeff.  I learned through the raindrops of sadness what I wanted to teach my boys.  I cried buckets over some of those broken hearts but am so very thankful that some of those relationships made me feel whole, full, loved.  Simple things that were done to make me feel that way, and I want to teach my children that it doesn't have to be a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship to do things that make others feel amazing.  I want to teach my boys how important it is to hold a door open because of how others feel when they are served in that way.  I want to teach them how to write a simple note to show appreciation and gratitude to a teacher or friend who has had an impact on you.  A note written not out of obligation but out of sheer gratitude and given becuase of how the other person feels when reading it.  I want to teach them to be giving out of sheer hapiness and joy not becuase some holiday tells you to.  I want to teach Zoe to sit in a car and wait for a boy/man/daddy or brother to open the door becuase she deserves to be treated with respect.  On a day where we celebrate with flowers, hearts and words of as my high school english teacher used to say, "love love love", I am reminded that my job as a parent is to teach my children to serve others out of love.  The greatest gift we can give others is ourselves but it isn't good enough unless our actions mirror our feelings.  A marriage dies when we don't have actions that mirror our feelings. I don't want my children to struggle in their marriages like Jeff and I have struggled in ours (and we continue to do so- more on that later).  People say the key to a good marriage is communication, I think there is more to that statement.  It is verbal communication, but it is also nonverbal.  It is written communication (notes, letters, cards), it is action, (door holding, hand holding, flowers, etc...) even if it doesn't come second nature.  It is something that becomes a habit or learned if it isn't your favorite way of communicating love... it doesn't happen just once a year.  I have been blessed to have felt loved in ways that are understood by earthly standards but more importantly I am blessed understand the love of The Father.  I wonder if I could take a day filled with flowers, hearts, candy etc... and use it to help my kids understand the love of The Father for His children, and that we can use that understanding to love others the way we have been loved?!  Hmmm...